Butterfly Kisses & 100 Good Wishes

Onward...

2009-05-03T14:48:00.003-07:00

First, we are still waiting to hear what is happening with Minyun and her adoption. Both of our agencies are looking into what is happening with her and we are thankful that they are so willing to do so. Our hope is that we will be able to send the beautiful photos that we received with our referral to her new family along with a few other items that are "hers".

On that note, many people have emailed and asked if we have in fact received a referral. We did and she is lovely. I have started a new blog called the Divine Miss Adventure
if you are interested in following Annie's adventures with her crazy parents!!

All is well...

2009-03-21T11:27:00.002-07:00

We are back on Canadian soil and last night, jet lagged and feeling crappy we had wonderful news. Minyun has had her surgery and she is doing very well - there will be very little scaring and she will be ready to be adopted by a family very soon.
We want to thank everyone but especially those who reached out to us and gave their assitance especially Epin from the Tonggu family group who was just AMAZING and kept us up to date on what was happening, Tonja from my Marching Pandas group who jumped right in and made some wonderful things happen and Sarah. You guys were wonderful.
You are the best people in the world!!!!

Your support...

2009-03-12T01:19:00.002-07:00

has been wonderful. We are doing our best to communicate with those who might be able to help our little Isabel Minyun and I believe that we have been somewhat successful - funds are being allocated to her care and Love without Boundaries has also been contacted through the network. We are hoping to receive updates soon. We felt so helpless and I have learned through this experience how incredible the Chinese Adoption world is. It is incredible.
It is with a heavy heart that I write that this will be one of my last posts on this blog. It was all about Isabel and we are no longer on the same paths in life. I will keep you all updated with any news we recieve about her care.
Thank you, thank you, thank you all for your words, emails and kindness. We are thinking that we were referred little Minyun because we are the type of people who would try to help her no matter what. At least we know that she will be taken care of and adopted by a loving family one day. Minyun will forever be in our hearts and we are so very sad that we won't be the parents that will raise her but we will always love her, forever...

Thank you...

2009-03-09T18:12:00.002-07:00

For all of your thoughts, prayers and comments. We are going to look in to the kind of care that Minyun is receiving today. That was our utmost concern and our guide assured us yesterday that she is in hospital and her SWI is a good one that has some $ (our International Specialist gave us the same information when he went over her file). Will keep you updated.

No photos...

2009-03-08T23:47:00.002-07:00

only sadness. Our little girl was in a bad fire on the weekend and we are unable to adopt her. Please say a prayer for her to heal quickly (the photo was devestating but we saw her little eyes shining through) and be put back into the system so that she can be adopted by a loving family. We are waiting to hear what happens next...
Thank you,
Kristine and Shawn

Photos of yesterday....

2009-03-07T14:47:00.005-08:00

This is outside of the Llama Budhist temple in Beijing. It was quite an experience. There was quite a bit of insence and the artifacts were incredible. Check out the little puppy. We have seen a few of these little cuties walking around - no big dogs though.

This is the scene outside of our hotel. There are bikes everywhere and lets just say that they don't follow the road rules so trying to cross the road for a massage is stressful enough that you NEED a massage after you do it!!!! We have quite a few pictures to post but blogger isn't allowing me to put them on.

Last night we and two families ventured out for dinner ourselves. With the help of our dictionary, we were able to order a fabulous meal with crysanthemum tea. We were very proud of ourselves. For 8 of us the total was 20.00 Cdn. Cool...

Oh and the luggage arrived last night. I was sleeping and Shawn was in the shower so it was fun to navigate but hooray!!! We have a change of clothes. I washed our clothes yesterday afternoon - if you ever need a wringer, Shawn rocks as everything is bone dry this morning and ready to wear if we needed too!! But we don't!! Yippee!!!

Oh well, tomorrow we meet Isabel!! Off to the markets today. We are REALLY glad that we came a few days early to experience the culture, food and get our heads straight!!! We leave the hotel at 5:30 am tomorrow to fly to Jiangxi province to meet our daughter. What an experience this has been so far. Can hardly wait...

a few thoughts...

2009-03-06T20:46:00.002-08:00

So after we tried numerous times to hook up the computer with the adapter that we brought from home, we took a chance and spent the 5.00 on one at the grocery store up the road- I know, a huge chance!!! Guess what!! It works, so now we have power and free internet access. Yippee!!!!
We have basically been left on our own today and tomorrow which is great. One of the families has a friend here and we met her at the bank. She told us where to go to find the Beijing artists in residence and we think that we will take the Subway there tomorrow. Now the Bank, that was certainly an experience and I have to say that we were VERY happy that we insisted upon brand new bills from the bank. The gal really did look at each bill, back to front, put them through the counter/counterfeit detector a few times. It took over an hour but it was fine- Shawn is learning great patience!!! There are lots of extra police on the streets as there are conferences going on so we felt very very safe walking the streets with our moneybelts on.
Oh and pack your deodorant in your carry on!!! As our luggage hasn't arrived yet, we are without and it took a LONG time to find some here as the Chinese don't really use it. It was also very expensive but NECESSARY. It was wild - we bought deodorant, hair conditioner, lipstuff and Shawn's hair stuff - the total was almost 80RMB!!! Our lunch from the takeout was 8RMB in comparison (rice with egg, stir fried veggies, bread for Shawn and a pineapple bun - very yummy!!).
We are now having a little rest (we were up at 4 am this morning) and then we are off to see the sights and I might have a massage as the massage place is just across the road. Looking forward to that!!!!!
Will post pictures later. The sights here are amazing- a bunch of guys sitting on their bikes having their lunch, an old bike with the trailer holding a tv, it is really the people that make this city vibrant and there are lots of people here but not as many as in Toronto's Chinatown!! Actually it still kind of feels like Chinatown at home except people speak very little English. We had a small run in with the pineapple bun lady and three other people came to help!! It was too funny but everyone here is kind and will try and help the silly foreigners.
Anyway, just can't believe that we are here!!!! Can't believe that in two short days we will meet our darling child and wow, is Chinese tv ever humorous!!!!

We're here!!!!

2009-03-06T05:11:00.002-08:00

I just wrote a long post that blogger erased. So suffice it to say, we are here - Beijing in hopping but we are hopping into bed - the "rock futon". Our luggage did not arrive with us but should be here tomorrow and we have met two of the families in our group. We had a nice dinner and now we are all in our rooms, trying not to fall asleep too early. Shawn took some great photos bufor some reason, when we plug the laptop into the wall with our converter, it doesn't draw power so we aren't going to be uploading until we figure it out.
Anyway, off to bed.

one day left...

2009-03-04T14:27:00.002-08:00

Tomorrow we fly to Beijing. Pretty crazy stuff!! The house is clean, frozen meals are done (both of these, thanks to Colleen - I would post the photo of her cleaning the oven but Shawn won't let me - it is hysterical!!!), Isabel's room is set up, the laundry is done, the bags are packed, the computer is backed up, the skype is ready to go, the mail has been held, the reservations for dinner tonight have been made and the taxi has been ordered to pick us up. Yikes, you would think that we are organized!!! Doesn't feel like it - really it doesn't but I guess after 4 years of waiting, we are ready to go!!!!!
Wish us luck!!!!

a little worse for wear today...

2009-02-28T12:14:00.003-08:00

Had a FABULOUS night last night with the gang from work. The food at M.INGS was super, the company was perfect, the laughter was infectious and the gift of a "Lucky Tree" from everyone was amazing. Let's just say that the red envelopes were "FULL" of exactly what we needed thanks to Shirley!!! Yes, it brought tears to my eyes - it was such a beautifully creative gift that pays homage to Isabel's culture. I really have no words - which if you know me well, is quite a feat!!!

You can also see from the photo the cute little walker that Ricci gave Isabel (her little nephew loves his so she thought Isabel should have one!!), the noisy but cute gum ball machine, Isabel's dolly and the Quatchi that Grandpa and Nana gave her. The Quatchi is one of the mascots for the 2010 Olym.pics which are being held across the water in Vancouver - a neat connection with Isabel being born in the year of the 2008 Olympics. They were going to get her a bear but this guy just had a little more meaning. He is REALLY soft and cuddly too!!!

So after dinner and a few martinis, I said, "so where are we going now!!!" The "martini" girls and I ended up going out except I think that I was the only one having the 'tinis - they were into the other cocktails and wine last night!! I even think I saw a beer or two. It was a blast and I am glad that I am not working today like a few of you are!!!!!!!! Thanks guys - it was a wonderful send off!!! I am going to lie down now...

One more step closer...

2009-02-27T16:33:00.002-08:00

Today I spent my last day at work. It was a happy day in many ways and everyone was just wonderful!! They are having a dinner for us tonight which Shirley has arranged and I can't wait to kick back and enjoy it.
My only regret about leaving is missing those that I have worked closely with for the last 10 years. Shirley wouldn't even talk to me today and those of you who know me well, know how hard it was to say goodbye to her because if and when I go back, she will probably not be there. She is an amazing lady and I will so miss our daily laughs and giggles - she and a handful of others have made the last few years there tolerable. Love you guys- you know who you are!!!
I have to say the well wishes from the staff and family members of our residents were just amazing. I want to thank everyone for the hugs and smiles. Jens had all of his staff gather and gave me a lovely gift that he picked out himself!! Our Great Dane went into the baby section!! Wow!! He even made my lunch for me. It really couldn't have been a better day AND the sun is shining!! Oh and Dad, I didn't need the kleenex too much today but I might tonight - hopefully copious amounts of wine will help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We are one step closer to our darling girl. May the next week go quickly!!!!!
S0...
2 more weekends, one more Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday before our family day... can't wait. WOOOHOOOO!!!!

The Countdown is on...

2009-02-21T08:05:00.002-08:00

:5 more days of work
:13 days until we fly
:16 days until we meet Isabel!!!

There are only
3 more weekends
3 more Mondays
2 more Tuesday, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays
UNTIL WE MEET ISABEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh and our TA arrived this past week, so I guess were really going!!!

whirlwind...

2009-02-12T07:16:00.002-08:00

Ok so the last few weeks I thought that I was losing it. My nose wouldn't stop bleeding, I had massive headaches and everyone around me kept pointing to blood pressure. Well, its not. Just really BAD allergies which my Dr. gave me a script for and now all is well!!! Anyway, we also were trying to get all of our paperwork together, Isabel's suitcase packed, lists made of 'to do's' before we leave etc etc etc. We seem to have a handle on it now which is GREAT!!! Oh and my nose not bleeding all the time - yeah that is pretty great too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So we have our itinerary:
Fly to Beijing March 5th
Fly to Nanchang March 9th
- Our Family Day is March 9th - less than a month away now!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fly back to Beijing March 14th
Fly home on March 20th.

Woohoooo!!!!! We have our tickets and when our confirmation came through, it felt so real!! We are actually going to China and meeting the person who is going to change our whole world!!! The person we have been waiting for all of these years. The person that we can call OUR daughter!!! We are just so thrilled and excited. Oh and she received her care package yesterday, on my birthday. Yes, that put tears in my eyes!!!! So now the countdown is on as the saga continues... (sorry, my addiction to East.enders is showing)

Kindness...

2009-02-05T21:03:00.005-08:00

I arrived home from work today and in the front hall, I found this guy...
Shawn's co-workers got together, had a pizza lunch party, a cake that said "Congratulations to the New Daddy" and bestowed upon him these lovely gifts today. The outfit is adorable and the HUGE stuffed dog is so soft. I can see Isabel using him as a cuddly pillow to lean on and read or sleep or wrestle... The sweetest gift from the guys and gals but such a surprise!!! They wrapped it beautifully and the card was so kind. I am sorry that the photo isn't better (it doesn't do the little outfit justice) but I used Shawn's camera and I am not good at figuring out all of his settings etc.

I also wanted to acknowledge that on the day we received our referral, Colleen, Bob and the boys sent us this beautiful bouquet which is still doing very well. Shirley ran out and found this cute little puppy so as soon as I returned to work that day, Isabel had a little gift!! The beautiful dolly was Isabel's Christmas gift from Colleen.

Thanks to everyone for your kindness. I know people are talking shower but I want to wait until we get home from China. There is just so much to do in the next few weeks. Oh and after lots of research I found that I want to use these gdiapers when we get home - I love the little outerpants (I don't know where to register for these though!!). I hope that she will already be on her way to potty training so these should be great. Cloth diapers were our other option but they are a huge investment if she isn't going to be in diapers very long.

Losing my mind...

2009-02-02T07:00:00.002-08:00

First, we didn't expect to go to China until the end of April. That is what we were given as an estimate by our agency in January. Last night, Yulin called and asked if we could be ready to go the first week of March. Uh YESSSS!!!! Wow, Alison warned me we may go sooner than they originally told us but I was living in my little "waiting game" bubble!!

So, I have been up all night making lists in my head for work and home as the control freak in me is rearing her ugly head!!! A child will be living here in 7 weeks and luckily we put up her crib on the weekend and started organizing our bedroom and hers... still so much more to do though - I haven't even looked at her clothes, toys and books that are all in storage for at least a year. Oh my!!!

I can't believe that this is actually happening and that we will have our daughter home sooner than later!!!! After essentially "shutting off" my mommy thoughts to survive the long wait, I have to turn them back on and wow, are they rusty!!!!! Does anyone know what a one year old eats? (just kidding!!!)

Going to get ready for work now - only 4 more weeks there after 10 years... another life change is about to happen and we can't be more excited!!!!!!!!!

Happy Anniversary my love...

2009-01-30T12:26:00.002-08:00

Ten years ago today, we were married in a beautiful garden with all of our family and friends around us. Last night, we reminisced over photos with our friends and today is just for us!! It has been an incredibly exciting and emotional week. The last time other than twice this week, that Shawn was really choked up with happiness was AT our wedding. He loves his girls sooooo much!!! We can't wait to be parents to our darling girl and the icing on the cake is spending the day alone with my sweet, kind, talented and wonderfully grumpy husband.

Oh and we are overwhelmed with all of the kind wishes that we have received. EVERYONE has been so kind and supportive - this is one TERRIFIC community and we can't wait to share our journey with everyone!!!!!

Here she is...

2009-01-26T13:32:00.001-08:00

I took a photo of the colour photocopy, I just couldn't wait to share her with you all!!!!!

She's s a Girl!!!!

2009-01-26T13:08:00.003-08:00

I can't seem to upload her pictures here because they are scanned and in Adobe. But she is JUST the cutest thing EVER!!!!! When I have the original photos back from the international doctor, I will post. Her name is Isabel Minyun or as Shawn is calling her "mini-mouse" (born in the year of the mouse!! March 27th, 2008!!). She is from Jiangxi province and has been in foster care since she was found.
We are over the moon. I know that you are not supposed to fall in love with a photo but man, it is hard not to, even for Shawn!!!

It's in Canada...

2009-01-24T09:56:00.002-08:00

We just had an email confirmation from our agency that our proposal came last night and it is in the hands of the translators. Yippeee!!!!! Relief!!!! We should know something soon...

Still Waiting...

2009-01-23T18:16:00.002-08:00

Our agency has no idea when our referral will arrive. We are still waiting and it is frustrating, really really frustrating but what can you do.
It is now the weekend so we won't hear anything until next week. Key the sad string section and weepy violins here...

Happy Spring Festival everyone!!!! We are having our Chinese food tonight from our favorite place which is just around the corner.
Oh and for all of our Scottish friends, I just hosted a Burns Supper but alas, being celiac I couldn't partake in the scotch and I WON'T eat Haggis!!!!!!!!!!! Happy Robbie Burns day to you all!!

Can't sleep...

2009-01-22T08:19:00.003-08:00

"Of all the soft, delicious functions of nature this is the chiefest; what a happiness it is to man, when the anxieties and passions of the day are over."-Laurence Sterne (1713-1768) My message from my Daily Wisdom today.

Then why can't I do this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I toss and turn and dream all night long. I dreamt of my kitty Rhiannon last night and all of her snuggles - it was wonderful but it just reminded me of how much I miss her. Oh well. Sad with the sweet...

I know that the main reason we/I can't sleep (as Shawn is doing the same thing) is that we will be seeing the photo of our child in the next week. The RQ has reported that packages are in the air!!!! For us it means that it has to go through the Ministry and then to our two agencies which do the translating and then presenting. I have been ASSURED that they don't "sit on" the proposals because they are a priority!! Thank goodness but at least after 4 years in the process I have WAY more information and know who to bug the hell out of to make sure that things don't "sit" like our dossier did.

So we are sitting tight, buckling up our seat belts and reading ourselves for take off!!!!! I think we are in for a bumpy ride!!!

Oh and Colleen, thanks for a fabulous weekend and Isabel's dolly. I can't get over her face. She is sitting in a green chair by the fireplace waiting as we all are... Shawn says that he was just joking about the purple hair, he thinks that we will have loads of fun colouring Isabel's hair!!!!!! Too funny!!!

We're NEXT!!!!

2008-12-29T16:28:00.002-08:00

Referrals came out today and the CCAA has referred children to families with LID's to Feb. 28th, 2006. This means that we are NEXT, yes there is no guessing or worrying or wondering (unless they have lost our dossier, given us the wrong day etc etc) because we WILL have a picture and information about our child in the next month. Can't quite believe it.
WOOHOOOOO!!!!! The party can start today...

Thoughts...

2008-12-01T07:21:00.003-08:00

This came in my "Daily Wisdom News" by Liisa Coffey this morning. I thought that it was appropriate for today. I then realized that it is another LIDversary when I looked at our "meter" on the front page. Hmnn, yes we are getting somewhat closer but it is easier to think of everything being far away. We are also grieving the loss of my wonderful, gentle and kind Father-in-Law and I only write that here because my Brother-in-Law said that with one life ending another should be in our arms sooner than later. I love the idea of Ivan taking care of our girl and guiding her to us. We are searching for answers for so many questions and these pearls of wisdom resonated with me today.

Searching
"What we seek we do not find - that would be too trim and tidy for so reckless and opulent a thing as life. It is something else we find."-Susan Glaspell, The Morning Is Near Us, 1939

The journey is filled with twists and turns and all kinds of surprises. That's what keeps life interesting. Whatever it is that we seek, we end up finding so much more than we ever could have anticipated. Those unexpected treasures we come across give meaning, and significance, to our experience.-Lissa Coffey

My new obsession...

2008-11-21T07:13:00.002-08:00

Well, it isn't really all that new but I am obsessed with trying to figure out how to be a one income family. I am reading a number of financial planning books, have my list of blogs that I read regularly and have tried to work out a plan. In preparation, I bumped up our mortgage payments to the legal limit set by our lender, I bumped up our monthly RRSP contributions, I have set up an ING savings account for an "emergency fund" and we have stopped eating out (which we did about twice a week). Ok, so we have also tried to put together a budget that looks like we are only living on one income HOWEVER we do have many disagreements stemming from this process. We do have debt and our adoption savings were depleted recently when we had to attend to a family emergency. Ughhh. Any thoughts about how to do this successfully without conflict in your marriage?

100 Good Wishes Quilt and a dream...

2008-10-02T22:03:00.003-07:00

So for posterity, I am recording here that I began sewing Isabel's quilt today. At least I think it is Isabel's. There was a surprise referral of a beautiful baby boy this month to a family in my February DTC group. They have to redo everything in the nursery etc but they are thrilled. I have 53 squares sewn together and Shawn and I were discussing the backing. Fortunately, most of our squares are not gender specific however the squares that I sent out and consequently the fabric that we are going to use for the backing is pink with butterflies and hearts. Oh well, I might have to wait until we have our referral to do the backing...
In other news, I have been feeling very low since the last referral batch because of our spot in line. It is hard to explain but I have said it so many times - the closer you get, the harder the wait seems to become. Anyway, the other night I was having trouble sleeping so I took a Ty.len.ol P.M. and had wild dreams. One dream was about our referral. We received the photos, a video and the regular information but our daughter appeared to be about 4 years old as she danced around. We were thrilled and excited and in China when we realized that this wasn't a referral for our daughter at all but a child that we were sponsoring through an agency. Talk about devastated. We turned around and went home without our child, hopes dashed. Yes, it is definitely harder the closer you get...

6 days...

2008-09-29T16:32:00.003-07:00

It looks as though the cut off for the latest batch of referrals is Feb. 15th - they did 6 days. That leaves 13 days ahead of us and Feb. 28th is a big day. I am hoping, meditating, praying to the Gods and sending thoughts to the universe that we will have our referral in December... It is REALLY hard to be this close and yet so very very very very far away from our daughter. She is on this earth and we think of her all the time, hoping that she is receiving our love and thoughts that we send her every day. We know that Anita and Benji's little angels as well as our Grandma's are watching over her, making sure that she is safe, warm and has a full belly.
Colleen said something that really made me think yesterday. She said that it just sucks that I don't have a big belly for people to fawn over and take care of. No one gets up for me on the bus - teehee, BUT they also don't understand how difficult (I can't think of a word that will adequately describe the roller coaster of the adoption world) it is to go through this emotionally. It takes a toll. Luckily we have a strong marriage and strong friendships which have carried us through - not to mention a little wine and chocolate on the side!! I hope that in two short months, I will be posting a photo of Isabel here...

Happy Mid-Autumn Moon Festival

2008-09-14T11:52:00.001-07:00

Hope that you are all enjoying your mooncakes!!!!!!! I am off to the grocery store to buy some- we like the nut kind!!

Wow, its been a while OR From the mouths of babes...

2008-09-06T12:23:00.003-07:00

So, it has been a while but we have gone through two more LIDversaries and there are now ONLY 19 days of LID referral days ahead of us. Who KNOWS how long it will take to get through these days, especially since according to a number of sources, Feb. 28th, 2006 was a big day for LID's. November is my wishful thinking, December is a possibility and January - well you know where this is going. I have to say though, that seeing people in my February group receive their referrals has been an incredible "pick me up" and somewhat of a reality check!!

In other news my niece and nephew along with my Mom were out to visit from Ontario in August. I keep thinking of Emma's question "Why is Isabel in China?" Our brother-in-law does quite a bit of travelling for his business and he was in China last spring. Emma just couldn't fathom why her Daddy didn't just pick Isabel up for us and bring her home. I WISH!!!!!!!! For a child who doesn't understand how babies are created yet, this is a real dilemma!! We had some answers but I found that for an intelligent 6 year old, the stock answer "because Isabel is Chinese and that is where she was born. We must wait to get the OK to go and get her from the Chinese government because she is Chinese. We have to have the official papers to take her to Canada but right now she is living in an orphanage with nannies" wasn't enough. She wanted to know why Isabel was born there, why she couldn't stay with her Mommy and Daddy etc etc. It was a difficult discussion that kept coming up but one I believe, will be part of our lives once Isabel is home and I want to have better answers for her and her cousin...Sigh.

Now, I must dig my head out the "waiting parent" sand and start to brush up on everything that I was soooo into reading two years ago. Luckily, our library is a wonderful resource. Oh and I have to say Happy Birthday Mom!!!!!!!! It was great to chat with you today. Love you!!!

Which month is this?

2008-07-01T22:05:00.002-07:00

Well, I haven't had a look at the blog lately so I'm not quite sure!! Too funny. Anyway, yesterday we actually went shopping for Isabel!! A good friend gave us a gift certificate for Christmas that we hadn't used yet so we decided to use it!! We bought Isabel her high chair and a few goodies for the diaper bag that we are taking to China. It has been a looooonnng time since we have purchased anything for her but it just felt right!! I put the chair together in the kitchen and it looked so right!!! I then disassembled it and put it back in the box (storage issues). Ah well.
Happy ? LIDversary to us... it really doesn't matter anymore I guess. We are counting the months ahead of us instead of those behind. Oh and I just finished the book "Eat, Pray, Love" - can you say Italy!!! I LOVED the first section - I am a pleasure seeker I guess. My favorite was the drawing with four feet on the floor, no head and a smile at the heart - how we should all strive to live!!

27 Yesterday...

2008-06-02T16:23:00.004-07:00

Wow, the months are just rolling by... can't believe that it has been 27 months since China logged us in... I do wonder if there will be an end to the wait and if a child waits there for us... only more long months of waiting will tell.

The roses are blooming and the sun is shining...all is right in our little corner of the world. I love this time of year.

26 today...

2008-05-01T07:27:00.003-07:00

That old British Tune "21 Today" is rolling around in my head but I have singing "26" instead. As I say every month, who would have thought...

I love the May fairy picture and the fact that it is about a baby playing with butterflies... signs perhaps.

Oh and thank you to Maryellen for my very precious new necklace and the thoughtful "Mother to Be" Mom's day card. She sent me a beautiful gift last year too and I just so appreciate that she is still thinking of those of us who wait.

Spring Fever or Something....

2008-04-04T16:23:00.003-07:00

When my Mom and my Niece came to visit in February, they brought two huge suitcases full of clothes that my sister put together. Emma was having trouble dealing with the fact that her clothes were being given away so Mom and I quickly put them in the closet and there they have remained until today. I have had to take a few days off due to illness and although today I feel much better, I can't go back into my workplace until I am symptom free for at least 24 hours. So, today I decided to tackle the clothes. Shawn went out and found an under- the-bed storage box last night and I filled it up today!!! Now all of Isabel's clothes are organized by size and the larger sizes are tucked away, under the bed.
I am also going to sew for the first time in months this weekend. There are a number of projects piled up and I need to get at them. They range from mending to creating. So exciting!!!
I have spring fever I guess but then again, we have decided not to sell and buy a new home so I am settled now. Isabel's room and closet are being organized and although I don't expect a referral for a VERY long time, it makes me feel closer to her when I go through the clothes that she will someday wear. Oh and my sister has GREAT taste so the clothes are beautiful - thank you Katie!!!!!!

Marking the days...

2008-03-31T17:28:00.007-07:00

26 months waiting today and that is NOT an April Fool's day joke, oops it is, it is ONLY 25 months. Silly me, just can't keep count anymore - it is over two years since LID anyway. Just marking the day...

Oh, and I am posting on the 1st even thought the date says that today is March 31st. Wierd!!!

Thank you's are in order!!

2008-03-31T17:28:00.004-07:00

First, thanks to Sam for the cute little pick me up package. You always seem to know when I need it!!!! The dark chocolate eggs didn't last long but I love the little candles. They are in our little Easter box for next year!!! I can't wait to try the apricot tea - Yummy!!!!!!

Second, I want to thank Cyndi for the lovely gifts for our Spring Exchange in our Waiting for our First Child from China group. The outfits are adorable (lavender and butterflies no less!!) and I love the little hippo!! So sweet. The candy won't last long in this house!!!! Cyndi, I didn't realize until after your gifts were purchased, that you like fairies!! You will have to impart some of your wisdom because we keep looking for circles here!!!!

I love to do the exchanges because I love to shop for people. It really seems to pass the time. Our very close friends have just announced that they are pregnant so even though we won't be shopping for the March DTC exchange, we will be shopping for them. Sam also has a package on the way soon - just putting it together!!!!!

Thank you Marsha, Larry and Courtney!!

2008-03-25T18:02:00.004-07:00

For well over a year now, we have been part of our March DTC Secret Pal exchange. This exchange happens every month and we have enjoyed every minute!!! I have changed from a person who was terrified of going shopping in the "baby" section of stores to a person who enjoys the shopping and chatting with other Moms!! Not to mention the building of friendships with our pals that I hope will last. It is such a personal thing to shop for a couple and their child that you cannot help but imagine them using or wearing the items you have so carefully chosen. I am sad to say that we have found that time has just not allowed us to be the kind of pals that we aspire to be and we have decided not to continue with the monthly exchanges.

Our last pals for the March DTC exchange are a wonderful family of three who are waiting for Nora to join them. Marsha has been so generous and as

you can see by the photo, she has done a wonderful job of choosing goodies for both the February (cooking) and March (rainy days) themes. She has even included a few ladybugs!!! Thank you so much for the great cookbooks, outfits, cooking toys, raincoat and boots, toys and other goodies. Your letter was very kind too!!!!! It has been a pleasure to be part of this exchange and we are going to miss it but hopefully we will have Isabel home this year to enjoy all of these wonderful gifts that she has received!!!!

Signs...

2008-03-09T21:01:00.003-07:00

I was reading Little Maple's Mom's blog and she was discussing signs. I do believe in signs and I have been open to experiencing them for some time. So today, Shawn and I were discussing being a single income family and right at the moment I said that it would be a wonderful thing, two bubbles floated by our living room windows. They were so pretty and when we looked outside (we thought that our neighbor's daughters might have been playing in the yard), we couldn't find their origins. Hmnnn, a good sign I would say!!
This past week has been a particularly difficult week at work for a variety of reasons which include grievances against my department (read: Me, as department head), infighting and ill co-workers (read: LOTS of extra work for Kristine). Ugh. I am really finished with this career and can't wait for our daughter to come home. There are jobs popping up all around me but I don't want to start something new as my job is all about relationship building blah, blah, blah... and to only be in a new position for 8 months tops, just wouldn't bring me any job satisfaction. So, I stay put and bide my time. I digress...
Oh yes, so on the worst day of this week, I notice that one of my diamonds is missing from my wedding band:( When we took it in that evening to get it fixed, the salesperson showed us a beautiful new ring and Shawn decided that I should have it. Ahhh. Then we went on to do more shopping and my favorite perfume that we haven't been able to find was at Sears of all places (our microwave died and we were looking for a replacement) and Shawn decided that I should have that too. Soooo sweet.
Signs. Well I put a number of financial plans that we had made into action this past week and then we get the bubble signs. My work week is the worst week but the loss of a diamond in my ring allows for Shawn to spoil me with a beautiful new ring and my fav perfume. A sign that good can come out of sadness (I was REALLY upset to find that diamond missing).
Can't wait to see what this next week holds... hopefully some good signs!!!

A thought...

2008-03-06T21:44:00.003-08:00

My friend Kathy and I were out for lunch today at JJ Noodle House and we both had the giant prawn szechuan garlic noodle soup for lunch. YUMMY!!! We were talking about a variety of things and then I said, hmmnn, hope that my girl is spicy!!! We then had a good conversation about the different provinces in China. Just wanted to record this as it was very spontaneous because lately my mind has wandered away from our adoption.
As well, we have 56 LID days in front of us now - it looks good for a fall referral but as always I will have to see it to believe it!!!
Oh and happy 2 year LIDversary to us, a little late.

Waiting...

2008-02-25T17:27:00.005-08:00

I found this through a link and just wanted to share:

I Will Wait for You...

"I know how difficult it is for you while you wait for me, because I have been waiting, too. I have waited to be held, to be fed, to be loved. I have found comfort in those who have been caring for me, and in those I have come to call my friend.

Do not feel saddened, for this is the only life that I have known. I have adapted. I know of no other way to spend my day. I am content, because I know not of what I might be missing.

As you await the sound of my laughter, I carry on, learning every day. From friends, and caretakers. Because I am not alone, I wait my turn, learning patience and enjoying every moment that comes my way.

Some friends are no longer here, so I make new friends. We keep each other company.

The day will come when your waiting will finally be over, as will mine. When that day arrives, my friends will need to make a new friend, as I will no longer be there. I will discover a life that I never knew existed. I might seem frightened at first, but once again I will quickly adapt and realize that my waiting to be held, to be fed, to be loved is over. I will be cared for like never before. I will learn so many new things.

I will have a forever family!

Until that day, I will be content to live the only life that I have known, and to spend time with my friends. Waiting ...

I will be here for you when your waiting has finally ended. You will hear my laughter and I will feel your loving touch. And we will both be content with the new life that we will share, together ... "

Still waiting for our little:

Rest...

2008-02-18T11:39:00.003-08:00

I can't believe that I haven't posted since Feb. 1st and then again I can!!! We have been so busy with visitors the past few weeks, it has been crazy!! Everyone is coming from the East in February it seems but it has been wonderful to see some old friends and family. Donika, Cam and their two kids were here and their 7 year old loves KIS.S - Fraser and Shawn had LOTS to talk about!!!! Oh and I had the best birthday party with lost of family, friends and chocolate. Thanks for the "great" photos V!! You are a nut!!!
My darling neice, the Divine Miss Em came from Toronto with my Mom for a week and we had a blast swimming, having afternoon tea, searching for faire circles, celebrating Chinese New year and swimming. Did I mention swimming, yes with a five year old who adores swimming and a beautiful pool down the road, we did alot of it!!! We are two peas in a pod, my neice and I. We both cried our hearts out when she left... Air Canad.a was no help. They cancelled both of their flights and made my sick Mommy wait in an airport with a sad and determined 5 year old for 4 1/2 hours, not to mention the 6 1/2 hour flight with no food!!!!! Horrible!!!! Luckily we sent lots of provisions in Em's bag and Mom's cell phone - we talked ALOT during their wait!!!
This past weekend was spent with my step-mom who flew into Vancouver last week for a conference and then tried to come over on the Island hopper (20 min flight) on Friday. She ended up 5 1/2 hours later, arriving by ferry and bus. No food vouchers for the ferry, no "so sorry". I don't think that I will ever fly Air Canad.a again. They cancelled her flight out here last week too and she almost missed her presentation at the conference - she had to do it in her running shoes and if you know Carolyn, that wasn't fun!! Horrible. BUT we had a great weekend and met up with her neice and our friend Jaqueline and her partner Claude for dinner last night. They have been out here on a holiday, enjoying our mild climate. It was great.
So, today I rest. Poor Shawn has to work but I am doing laundry, watching my BBC soaps and catching up on some reading. Back to work tomorrow!! Oh and the sun is shining, all is right with the world!!

23 months...

2008-02-01T06:19:00.000-08:00

Who would have thought!!!!!!! So happy that we have survived this long!!!!
Have a great weekend...

9 years...

2008-01-30T20:36:00.000-08:00

Nine years ago today, we were married in the prettiest ceremony and then had the BEST party ever!!! We had an open bar, a chef making pasta and a live jazz band. SOOOOO fun other than Shawn being sick as a dog!!! Love my sweetie-pie even more today!!!

It feels so good to...

2008-01-27T17:08:00.000-08:00

skate, swim, play a little basketball and go for a walk. We had my girlfriend's eight year old for his "birthday" weekend and we did all of these things as well as the movie and video game thing. It felt great and although my right bicep is a little sore (he isn't the best skater so I was holding on very tight), it was super to get out and do something!!
The three of us went over to the neighborhood court at the rec centre this morning and played basketball in the freezing cold : 3 celcius!!! We taught him how to do a layup and how to throw the ball properly. So much fun!! I can't wait until Isabel is old enough to do these things with. I find that with my family and friend's kids, you can have alot of fun doing physical activities until they are around 11-12 - then its the "cool" factor kicking in.
I just wanted to record this here so that I can remember what a great weekend we had with Jaspar and how much fun it is to hang around with the kids!!!

Winter...

2008-01-22T19:33:00.000-08:00

Well, it is cold and sunny in our little part of the world. It has been a very difficult month but the sun is shining and I always feel a little better when that happens.
I wanted to share a beautiful photo that Shawn took the other night at the beach... We had the sun setting to the West and then the Moon was rising in the East. The light is returning and it feels like Spring is around the corner. Here's hoping for good referral news in the next few weeks...

Thanks V!!!

2008-01-13T17:45:00.000-08:00

I know that you check in here regularly so I just wanted to thank you for everything!! We had a great weekend and I was really sad when you left today :( We both love you very much (but you know that!!). Safe travels and we will see you soon!!

One week ago today...

2008-01-05T20:27:00.000-08:00

we made a very difficult choice (in retrospect we do believe that she was ready to go, we just couldn't face it at the time). It has been a tough week but going back to work really helped. We also moved the furniture around, took out the rugs that we were never able to put down and took all of the "protective" coverings off of the furniture. I have to say that all of the calls, emails and support that we have been given through this time has really been thoughtful and kind. I also have to mention that Shawn is the most wonderful person and his martini making skills have been put into practice a few times this past week. Thank you darling. I love you.
This week was also our 22nd month of waiting since LID and the new referrals came in to Dec. 19, 2005. What can we do but wait. I have been in contact with both of our agencies and basically they told us that it wouldn't make sense to make big changes now because of where we are in line. Just to clarify, we have two agencies - one that is in town, takes care of the paperwork etc and the second, FOI who is our China facilitator. When I spoke to our social worker to do our homestudy update, she said that she had heard two years from FOI so our referral should be coming soon!! Needless to say, I enlightened her. The information that is coming through loud and clear is that no one knows what the future will hold yet they do think that we should hold tight for now. Who knows. I keep thinking of this psychic reading that I had from one of my Mom's friends when I was 10 or 11. She told me by reading my palm that I wouldn't have children. Who knows!!!!
Again, thanks for the support. We still REALLY miss our girl but each day gets a little better. Cheers, Kristine

22 months today...

2008-01-01T08:35:00.000-08:00

Just have to mark it here for posterity. Thank you all for your kind words and phone calls. This has been the worst holiday season ever but we are getting through it. We have such wonderful family and friends who are so kind and their love has made the difference. I also have the best husband who keeps feeding me "frat" food as he calls it (yea, organic nacho chips, salsa, lovely olives, humus, red pepper humus, sushi, etc etc - I wanna join his frat!!). Shawn also makes the best martinis with olive sticks. He is such a good man and I love him with all of my heart and soul.
Happy New Year to all and we know that 2008 is the year we will be bringing our daughter to our home.

Camie is gone...

2007-12-29T09:23:00.000-08:00

Well, our sweetie is gone. How we loved this little kitty but we had 19 1/2 good years with her. Going to drink more martini's, eat chocolate and I have the BEST husband in the world!!!!!

My little Furkid Camie - UPDATE

2007-12-28T17:12:00.000-08:00

Well, our girl has been in the hospital now for 48 hours and they have isolated the problem as of this afternoon. She has kidney failure which is VERY common in older cats. The vet told us today when we visited that because she has started eating again and perking up, there are things that we can do to make her feel better. First, we have to put her on a new diet and then we have to do "water" therapy with her. It is really hard to explain to people who are not "animal" people but we will do what we can to prolong her life. She is a member of our family and one of the great loves of our lives. For those who know her, you know that Camie has always had a problem with realizing she is cat. She thinks that she is one of us and acts the part!! We miss her little tippy tap claws as she walks around the house and the meows for food, kisses and cuddles. She will hopefully be home tomorrow night. Thanks for all the well wishes and calls from near and far!!! Oh and I do appreciate the hospital!! They have given her oat bags, wrapped her in her blankets and let us visit with her long past visiting hours. We were there until 10pm last night!! Yes, we do love our girl.
UPDATE: well they just called and said that she isn't eating now etc, etc, and they will test her this afternoon. We are going to see her soon. I have to say that my heart is breaking...

Prayers for Camie-cat

2007-12-26T22:07:00.000-08:00

Our darling girl had a rough Christmas and is spending the night in the emergency vet clinic. She is 19 1/2 and this makes it ever so hard for her and for us. So, if you have a moment, send her some healing thoughts and prayers so that she can get back on her feet literally. I just don't know what we will do without her one day. I guess this was the trial run...

Merry Christmas to one and all!!!

2007-12-24T09:17:00.000-08:00

Well, here we are. Another Christmas. We have had quite the year in 2007 and although we had hoped to bring home our daughter this year, that just wasn't in the cards. Here's hoping that 2008 will be the year that we all bring our children home!!! I can dream, it is Christmas!!!!

We wanted to thank everyone for all of their support this past year and the kindness that this cyber world has shown us. It has been a pleasure.
In saying that, our Marching Panda secret pal's December gift arrived yesterday and here is the photo!! Cutie, cute goodies with a special gift for both Mama and Baba!!! So sweet!!! Thank you!!!

Cute!!!

2007-12-22T12:28:00.000-08:00

Your Elf Name Is...

Stubby Snowballer

What's Your Elf Name?

Wow!!!

2007-12-19T16:56:00.000-08:00

Ok, just when I feel like crying, gifts arrive in the mail from afar that make me smile. Yesterday, we had a wonderful package from Sam (I am REALLY holding back as I would love to build the house, Shawn just asked if we were going to!!!). Oh and Shawn LOVED the chocolate. Yep, he ate them all but two. He said that he was Isabel's Dad so they were for him too!! What a nut!!

I am a member of a group where we are all first time parents and I joined a Secret Santa exchange because I LOVE to shop and give. It is also really neat that someone thought of us and sent us gifts too. So, our gifts arrived today from our Santas Karen and Kevin from Guelph Ontario. You must have really done your homework because your gifts were bang on!!! Check out the goodies and they were all wrapped in the cutest Santa paper (which didn't last long)!!

After the super cute card with the nicest sentiments, I opened the Jazz Cd first which is playing right now!! I then opened all the great Children's Christmas books. What a collection!! Then, with Shawn holding Camie and watching I opened her little gift of balls. She is down on the floor playing with them now. I opened the bath goodies (cool flavours!!!), chocolate (dark my fav)and white tea (which I haven't tried yet but am excited to!!!). The little bear is so very cute !! So, the last gift I opened was the most beautiful dress and yep, I had a tear in my. It is GORGEOUS and this photo doesn't do it justice!! Thank you so much Karen and Kevin, you are pretty wonderful Secret Santas!! Wish wish you a very Merry Christmas!!

'Tis the season...

2007-12-18T22:05:00.000-08:00

I don't know if it is the season, SAD or what but I feel like crying all the time these days. I spearheaded a drive for toys and food this year as I do every year at work. Well, I took everything down to the food bank today and cried all the way back to work. Those fellas down there were so THANKFUL for a few boxes of goodies. It broke my heart that these fellows who have disabilities were so excited and took their jobs so seriously. It really made me think...

I received a loverly package from Sam today. As you can see from the picture, she sent the NEATEST gingerbread house that will keep until next Christmas. I love the Angel, kisses and hot chocolate with the beautiful spoon!! Thanks so much Sam, for the pick me up. It is so exciting to receive your thoughtful gifts. Shawn wondered where the tea was but then he saw the hot chocolate and determined that it was a great choice for Christmas.

Speaking of my wonderful husband, he dressed up as Santa and gave out presents to the little ones and a few older ones at a dinner party tonight for one of my colleagues. What a guy!!! The second picture is a dollhouse that one of my residents was making but gave up on. He was kind enough to GIVE it to me for Isabel. We still have lots of work to do on it but I came home the other night and Shawn had strung all of these lights on Isabel's house. Isn't it pretty!! I love the Chinese doll that I found at the VV Boutique. She is holding a pretty ribbon ornament that we bought for Isabel in Chinatown. They have had them for years and now all of a sudden, they are almost sold out so we had to get it. We will put it on the tree next year... maybe...

Oh, and I was thinking that we are going to celebrate our 22nd month of waiting on New Year's Day. You are supposed to do things on that day that you would LIKE to do for the rest of the coming year. I don't want to WAIT patiently another year, celebrating yet again, another long month of waiting. YIKES!!! Any ideas on how to change our luck here?!?

You have got to be kidding, A Christmas Sweater!!!!!

2007-12-06T09:47:00.001-08:00

With referrals going as slowly as ever, I thought that I would try this...

You Are a Christmas Sweater!

Over the top, colorful, and totally flashy.You're not afraid to be a little tacky.

What Crappy Christmas Gift Are You?

Hmnn, maybe I will post a picture of the Christmas sweater that I have worn a few times this year all ready... at my Bazaar, at the Christmas Tree Decorating party and I will wear it again tonight for the Victoria Operatic Society performance. Can you guess what I do for a living? Yep, I am the Director of Leisure Services at a Seniors Residence. My poor staff have to put up with me wearing that crazy thing each year (this is our 9th Christmas together). They say they know Christmas is over when the Christmas Cardie leaves the office!!!!!

LIDversary

2007-12-01T11:33:00.000-08:00

Yep, it is here again but I couldn't remember what month until I looked at the ticker at the top of my blog!! So here we are, 21 months in and as I always say ? to go. Just don't know.
So, this is what we have been doing to keep ourselves busy...skating!! Love it!!! We go to our city arena called SOFA, ha ha. No outdoor skating in Victoria because we don't have snow, well we do a little today!! Fun, fun, fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Off to decorate at work...

Our November Secret Pal gifts!!!

2007-11-26T18:14:00.000-08:00

Well, our theme this month was "Dress you up in My Love" and our pal certainly did this!! As you can see from the photo, she included a beautiful Christmas dress, a Pink number that I wish they made in my size because it is just my style and a sweet little Pauline doll called "Awake/Asleep Annie" who didn't make it into last month's package. Wow.
The two books "Tikki Tikki Tembo" and "The Ugly Vegetable" look great!!!!!!!!! Our pals then added a very special gift, the "From China with Love" 2008 calendar. Oh my!! This is just such a precious gift. I had a few tears while looking at all the photos of the beautiful children. It is so inspiring.
So, thank you secret pal!! You are just super!!!!!!!!

Why we are going with China...

2007-11-20T07:28:00.000-08:00

LOTS of discussion out there in blogland about why people choose China, not domestic or other countries. Well, here is the real reason we went with China. It has NOTHING to do with the fact that we tried the domestic route first. Nope. It has to do with the fact that Shawn loves KI.SS and Ace is the best guitar player EVER (or one of them, so Shawn thinks). He loves Ace. We have a huge portrait, pictures, gumball cards, Ki.ss army stickers and LOTS of memorabilia. Guess what. Ace has Korean heritage and I think that Shawn related to him because he looks a bit like him and he always wanted to be like him when he was a kid. There you have it, we are going to adopt our child from China because Shawn loves KI.SS and wants our daughter to be a kicka** guitar player !!!!!
I am KIDDING here. Please do not take this the wrong way and while I know that adopting a child with different features and a different cultural background is serious business (I only believe that we have one race, the human race), I just had to add some levity.
Oh, and by the way Shawn really does love KI.SS!!!!!

This is so cute...

2007-11-14T07:29:00.001-08:00

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I found this on Deb's site. I remember this song from an email that I sent to my girlfriend about four years ago. It had a little dancing bear and her son watched it over and over and over again!!! It almost drove them crazy. I wanted to have it here so that Isabel can hear it one day and drive me crazy!!!!

Prayers, White Light, comforting thoughts...

2007-11-14T07:29:00.000-08:00

We have just heard that a fellow Marching Panda has lost her husband while they were adopting their daughter in China. Her blog is private so I can't share it here but please keep this new and beautiful family in your heart. There is a gorgeous picture of their new daughter sleeping on Daddy's chest and we are just so happy that he had a chance to be with their first child for even a little while. This news is so devastating, I just can't imagine... my heart just breaks for her and her new daughter...please keep them in your thoughts...

Ah, to be 17 again!!!!!!

2007-11-06T07:22:00.001-08:00

You Belong in 1987

Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day.

What Year Do You Belong In?

My dream...

2007-11-06T07:22:00.000-08:00

I woke up at 5 am this morning smiling because of a dream about Isabel. We were in China I think but you know how dreams are. I said to Shawn,"Look, she has ten fingers and ten toes!!!" Then we were kissing her tiny hands and feet, tickling her little belly and she was giggling like crazy. We wer giggling right along with her, giving her tons of kisses. It was so sweet, then I had to wake up!!

20 months...

2007-11-01T17:13:00.000-07:00

I can't seem to get excited as we may have 4, 6, 8, 12 months to go before a referral. We had a conversation with our agency and they said to stick with it, we are too far into the process. If we were not, I think that we would be investigating other options... So, to cheer ourselves up, we have booked a weekend here. Can't wait!!!
So Sam was a sweetie and sent me some lovely goodies!! Thank you soooo much for the pick me up!! Camie, a Diva as ever had to get into the photo!! Seriously, I was putting the gifts out and she jumped into the photo.

So, now, here is the photo without the kitty, to show the lovely goodies from Sam - a gorgeous tea cup, delicious tea (yes I have tried it!!), a neat candle snuffer, sweet little bag and a really pretty jacket for Isabel!! Love the card!! Thanks again Sam, you are a doll!!

Thank you to our New Secret Pals

2007-10-30T18:02:00.000-07:00

We decided to continue with the Secret Pal exchange with the Marching Pandas to pass the time and we just received our first gift from our new pals. As you can see from the photo we have received an adorable outfit, a really neat Fisher Price Snap'n Style Linh doll, an animal activity play doh bucket, a Cinderella colour wonder book, a book called "The Jade Dragon" and a lovely letter. Thank you for these thoughtful gifts, it really put a smile on our faces, especially with the referral rumours floating around!!!! Looking forward to next month...

The last of the renos...

2007-10-23T21:41:00.000-07:00

This past year, to take up the time during the wait, we have renovated our condo. New floors throughout, new baseboards, new kitchen counter top, new appliances, a few pieces of new furniture, new paint and new wooden blinds. Tomorrow we are entering the last phase, we are painting our bedroom, walk in closet and en suite bathroom. We are also rearranging our bedroom so that Isabel's crib will fit beside our bed and my Grandma S's rocking chair/ancient lazyboy, will have room. My Grandma rocked all of us in that chair and I hope to someday, rock my little girl to sleep there too. My friend Kathy gave me the most beautiful ivory fabric that has the pattern of roses all over it and the chair is out being recovered in this as I write this. I will post a picture of our room when we are done.

I decided to post this update because this blog is a record of our wait for Isabel and all of the things that we are doing to prepare for her. When the last referral batch came out, it shocked me to the core and I just couldn't bear to write about or contemplate our life with our daughter. As many people are writing right now, the wait is indescribable unless you are in the thick of it. I am a very patient person and I do believe that things happen for a reason and because of that, I do wonder if having our own children is something that will happen for Shawn and I. In saying this, I am not looking for empathy but wondering if the program is going to end before we get to China and if it does, do we have the emotional strength to follow a path to another country. So hard to know. Oh well, we continue on and hope that the referrals next month will be good news. Cheers, and thanks for all of your kind words and emails.

A brief post to say THANK YOU!!!

2007-10-09T17:14:00.000-07:00

to my Marching Panda secret pal Maryellen over at
TBG Happenings . She revealed herself in this, the last of her gifts and I COMPLETELY understand why she has dropped out of the exchange, she has her Sophie home!!!!!!! I was sad to hear that my pal was dropping out but Maryellen, you have the best reason EVER!!!!

Maryellen, I do think that we are kindred spirits!! Those UTube selections that you posted brought back so many memories!!! I can't tell you how happy I was to find that you were our pals as I feel as though I already kind of know you all!! It has been a wonderful exchange, you have been incredibly generous and we adore each and every gift that you have chosen for us and for Isabel.

So, onto the final gifts. HOLY S**T is all I can say. I can't believe that you found the"Free to Be You and Me" DVD!!!!!!!!!!!! That made my day. You didn't have to send ANYTHING else!!! But of course, you sent a wonderful ladybug plate set, kitty cat apron, "lovebug" bibs, adorable little white shoes and sunshine baby toys for Isabel. I love the little Cabbage Patch doll as well as the beautiful doll that came from China!! The little Panda wall hanging and the book "Somewhere in China a Mother Remembers" also came from the same store I believe. The store is called "A Gift from China" and the sticker says that the sale of these products will help support many disadvantaged children throughout China. Okay, these gifts brought a tear to my eye, especially the book!!! Now, the squeaky shoes are already driving Shawn mad!! Can't wait until Isabel is wearing them!! Thank you so much for the books, I love my books and you always seem to send such good ones!!! Oh, and I really appreciate the photo of your family. I want to be able to show Isabel who you all are!!! Who knows, you may not be blogging by the time we get a referral!!

So Maryellen, thank you for being such a great pal and even though I don't feel like posting much these days, I had to say THANK YOU for all of your kind words and your generous heart. We wish you all the very best and maybe someday we will meet!! You are all welcome here in Victoria, a lovely city to visit!!!!!

Crying in my red wine...

2007-10-02T17:27:00.000-07:00

I can't believe the referral news. Five days... This is sooo sad. We are packing up all of our daughters things in boxes and I am not going to post for awhile. I need to focus on something else. At this rate, we won't see a referral for another year and although I am usually upbeat and positive, I just can't do that right now. So thanks Dolores for the nominations for the Nice Matters and Smile Awards. I really appreciate your kind words, you are always so very sweet. See you all sometime in the future when I feel like a human being again. Right now, I am going to pour myself a second glass of wine and break out the chocolate, I just can't believe it...

19 months, whoo eeeeeeee!!!!!!

2007-10-01T16:52:00.000-07:00

Yep, 19 months in the long line. Can't wait to see the referrals this month, hope that our daughter is ever closer to coming home. According to the CCAA, we will have at least 5 more months to wait for our referral. Here's hoping that things speed up and we see her face sooner that that. It all seems so unreal and so very far away... Happy October!!!

Happy Autumn Festival!!

2007-09-26T17:06:00.002-07:00

I received this today from a friend in China. Karin wishes everyone all the mooncakes that they can enjoy!! We shared one last night and will enjoy the others down at the Ocean, watching the moon rise (not that we don't do this with every full moon!!). Ah, what a beautiful time of year. I love the customs and stories that surround this holiday. If you are interested in it, check it out here. As for moon cakes, we like the nut, single yolk version. Another friend told me today that all mooncakes have five elements that represent the five senses and are therefore good luck to eat.

To echo Karin's words - we hope that you all enjoy all the mooncakes you can!!!! Happy Mid Autumn Moon Festival!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you Sam!!!

2007-09-21T07:16:00.000-07:00

Sam's little care package arrived days ago and I haven't had the chance to say a HUGE thank you on the blog. She sent Pocky sticks (YUMMMY!!), a beautiful little fish, a really neat hot pink (my fav colour) "Not Your Bag" luggage tag and a great magnet about perseverance. I so appreciated your kindness. It came at a time when I REALLY needed a pick me up!!!!!!!
It has been a difficult week for many reasons, just one being this horrible wait. I looked at our ticker and I can't believe that we are so close to 24 months. When I chose it, I didn't even think we would get to the 24 month stage and now I may have to find a longer one. Who knows though, in this game, you can never tell.
Now to book Shawn's Vegas hotel. He is going to our good friend's wedding in October and I have to stay home with the cat (yes we have thought of all of our options and no, there is no one who can take care of a geriatric cat - you have to live with her, cuddle her LOTS and clean up after her episodes etc etc). My choice to stay home because Gary is like Shawn's little brother but I am still a little bummed about missing the big event. C'est la vie!!
Have a great weekend!!! We are guest free and work free - woohoo!!!!

Disclaimer to our guests: we do LOVE having everyone but we have had guests almost every weekend and some weeks since the beginning of May. We do LOVE you all very much and are glad that you enjoy our humble little abode so much!!

I found this...

2007-09-09T10:42:00.002-07:00

0n Shannon's blog. Tooooo funny.

It's Sophie Day!!!!

2007-09-09T10:42:00.001-07:00

Go on over (if you haven't already!!) and have a peek at the TBG happenings gang with their new daughter Sophie!!!!! So excited for Maryellen and family!!!!!!!!!!! Woohoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh and I have a request. A very very dear old friend and her husband had their surrogate implanted with two embryos last week. Please send white light, healing energy, prayers, whatever you can to this wonderful family. They have had so much loss in their lives (including their daughter) and I just can't imagine any family who deserves a child more. Thanks.

A Few Thoughts...

2007-09-09T10:42:00.000-07:00

I have been hearing a number of stories of loss recently in the adoption community. People have lost family members, furbabies and friends that they hoped would have been part of their new child's life. I think this is the real tragedy of our wait for our children. One of the gals in my DTC group lost her Grandmother recently and I shed a few tears reading her words. I remember when my Grandma S died (ten years ago today!!) and I was devastated that she would never know my children. I know that her death put my life into fast forward!! We started to plan our wedding, children and our life in BC. I was so sad when my Grandma C died a year later and missed our wedding by a few months. It was so VERY hard. With Camie our kitty, being 19 years old, I am worried about how a little child will interact with her (she is fragile) but then I worry more that we will lose her and be dealing with grief when we meet Isabel!! I only wish that we had the power to pur our wait into "fast forward" now!!! As we wait, life continues and even though I know that we have no control, I still feel so very sad to think of all of the special people and animals in our lives that won't have a chance to meet our darling children.

Ah, September....

2007-09-01T18:45:00.001-07:00

I do love this time of year. Autumn is my favorite time to get cozy and comfortable. I put the fire on, light the candles and listen to the wind howl outside. It has rained all weekend here so it feels like Autumn is already here...

That is ok because our last summer long weekend was a bust!! Shawn had to work, our weekend guest V got really sick with a bad cold/fever and I had too many tini's of Friday night to be of any use to anyone!!!! We went to a fun and interesting party with friends but I am certainly feeling my age these days. I used to get up and go to work after a night like that but no more!! I couldn't even get out of bed until noon the next day!!! Ah well, off to the next phase of life, motherhood!!! When exactly that will be, is any one's guess!!!

I am happy (I know that many AP's are pretty upset) that the CCAA referred up to November 25th. I was thinking that it might be a two day referral so four days was a huge relief. There were rumours floating around that they may go into December but I just couldn't see it. So, I am sad that our wait has extended again but happy that at least we are still moving forward.

Oh, and I wanted to recommend a book called "Buy, Buy Baby". It has been a very interesting read so far. I don't necessarily agree with all of the ideas the author suggests but it is enlightening!!

18 months...

2007-09-01T18:45:00.000-07:00

WOW!!! Our 18 month LIDversary. Had a few to many 'tini's last night to write much more. Here's hoping that next week will bring December referrals!!!

Red Thread Moments...

2007-08-20T21:16:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I have had many red thread moments this past week and weekend. I don't want to list everything on the blog but there have been some amazing things happening in our little world. I am thinking and hoping that Isabel has been born and that she is being cared for!! As I keep saying, the timing would be right for a referral in February or March 2008. We just want to go to China and return before the Olympics!!!!!

I spent the weekend with our seven year old friend Baxter, his Dad and my sewing machine. A very busy weekend but I was able to organize, sort and complete many of my sewing projects. I REALLY want to get started on Isabel's quilt but feel like I need to finish the pile of little projects before I start this larger one!!!

We are also going to start moving things around in our house as we found out last week that moving isn't an option we are willing to entertain. I really can't see paying twice the mortgage payment for a larger backyard and a few extra hundred square feet. Housing prices here are crazy and we want to stay downtown so we will pay more. Half a million for a 1500 square foot house and small yard or three bedroom townhouse condo without a yard!! Oh well, Isabel with have to make do with the pool/rec centre and playground two blocks away!!! I love the fact that we can walk down to the inner harbour and enjoy our beautiful city on a summer afternoon/evening. As I always say, c'est la vie!!!!!!

It's Channing Day!!!!!!!!

2007-08-13T16:31:00.000-07:00

Kim finally has her darling girl in her arms. Go on over and congratulate her if you haven't already!!! Click here to send your best wishes!! Soooooo happy for both but a little sad for what Channing is going through in the transition...

For interest sake,

2007-08-01T20:19:00.004-07:00

I went back to this day last year to see what I had posted. Hmnn, funny how some things never change. Even after a year of reading, learning and great discussion we still feel the very same way. My only thoughts were that it needed some serious editing but then, when I write from the heart I like to leave those emotions on the page... if you are interested in my opinions on international adoption, click here.

Ok, now we are being spoiled!!!!!

2007-08-01T20:19:00.003-07:00

I joined a yahoo group called "Waiting for our first child from China" and got involved with a quarterly cyber-shower swap there. What can I say!! I love to shop for other people!!

So, our first gift arrived today and the theme was "Fun in the Sun". I can't believe that Isabel has another gorgeous cover up and bathing suit!! I swear, I really looked everywhere for one here and couldn't find what I wanted. My pals are from the US and you guys must have such a better selection there!!!!

I want to thank our pal for the cute little outfit, the adorable sunglasses with a butterfly on them!! Imagine that!!! As well, she sent some loverly toys, sun screen for babes (and I mean BABES!!) and a cute little hat with a strap, which is much appreciated in this windy corner of the world. Yes, there is Camie again, she is such a photo hog!!!

Thank you sooo much, Isabel is truly a lucky little girl!!

Just when I thought...

2007-08-01T20:19:00.002-07:00

that there was nothing to post about, our March DTC secret pal has sent us our July and August theme gifts!!! We both adore the little bikini and yes, Shawn did think it was a little racy!! The butterfly kisses tshirt is THE BEST t-shirt ever!!! So cute. I can't get over the terry-cloth robe!! I was looking everywhere for one this summer and couldn't find one that I liked anywhere!! This one is just adorable and I can just see Isabel in it. We will take your advice about the baby pool at the Ocean and I am sure that Isabel will love playing in the sand with her new toys. I also LOVE the princess hat, outfit and goodies. No problem about changing the theme from crafts - I can't wait to make the magic castle cake for Isabel!!!! I also can't believe that you sent such a special book!! Just beautiful. Camie was very upset and had to get into the picture because I didn't giver her the immediate attention she is used to!! What a girl...

Again, thank you for your kindness, generosity and wonderful surprises. It means so much to know that there are real people out there who are also enduring this long wait!!

Not much to post about...

2007-08-01T20:19:00.001-07:00

I guess that I feel this way because this blog is about our adoption journey and really, there hasn't been much going on in the past months. With the wait times increasing each month, our daughter seems farther and farther away. I know that we have just completed 17 months of waiting which is great but who knows how many more there are to come. We are not switching programs and are in this for the long haul but focusing on the wait has not been a good thing for me. So, although I am reading blogs and keeping in touch with the goings on (yea August referrals!!!), I just don't have much to post about so I thought that I would post about this!! Happy August!!!!!!!!!!!!

17 months...

2007-08-01T20:19:00.000-07:00

who woulda thought!!! Thanks for the reminder Sam!!! Yep, this day marks 17 months that our dossier has been logged into the CCAA computer. Yikes!!

On another more positive topic, a fellow Marching Panda has started a little business on her blog. Check out Dianne's creations. Just soo very cute!!!

Summer is zooming by...

2007-07-29T17:50:00.000-07:00

Just wondering if others are feeling this way? So many times I have blog posts rolling around in my head but I never seem to have the time to write anything!! Summer is just zooming by and I feel as though it hasn't even started yet!!!!! For posterity, I thought that I should list what has happened in our small little world so far..

1.We have had tons of fun with friends and family. It has been a crazy time of visiting, holidaying and exploring our Island home.
2. Our very dear friend's granddaughter was shot a week ago in Winnipeg outside of a club while waiting for a cab with her girlfriends after a birthday party. She is recuperating and coming home to Vancouver this weekend. You never think that these things will happen to people that you know and love!!!
3. The last H. Potter book arrived here on Friday from Amazon and it has been hard to take my nose out of it to spend time with anyone. Yesterday, they all went hiking and I took my chair and sat at the beach and read... As my 6 1/2 year old friend Baxter said "Don't read it too fast Kristine, then you will be sorry you have finished it!! I feel that way about most of the books that I read!!" He also informed me that I missed out on climbing the magical mountain because I decided to read instead. What was I thinking!!Ah, out of the mouths of babes!!
4. The H. Potter movie "Order of the Phoenix" came out and we went. I will have to see it a second time to really give an opinion.
5. We almost bought a new townhouse condo but didn't move fast enough... the market here is CRAZY expensive...I have to get used to the fact that unless I want to live in the suburbs, we will be staying put...

AND our little nephew Blake turned TWO today!!! Happy birthday to one of the cutest little guys we know!! Wish we had been there to help celebrate but it sounded as though Blake and Brett were having a good time when we called!!

So, August is on the horizon and the sun is setting at 9:30 instead of 10:00. Soon enough, we will have 17 months of official waiting under our belts and referral should come soon too... Here's hoping we have our daughter to enjoy the summer with next year. Off to watch "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" while we eat Shawn's famous chicken wings...Yummy!!!!!!!!!!!!

Interesting...

2007-07-22T20:40:00.000-07:00

Your Inner European is Irish!

Sprited and boisterous!
You drink everyone under the table.

Who's Your Inner European?

Well, my genetic heritage is mainly Irish and I have been known to have a few drinks... Thanks Sam for posting this, it was fun!!!!!

Congratulations Ms. Dragonfly!!!

2007-07-19T17:38:00.000-07:00

Oh my, Ms Dragonfly !!!! What a wonderful week. New book and NEW BABY GIRL!!!!!!!!! Grace Ryan is absolutely precious!! If you didn't already know this, Elizabeth is a published author and you can find the link to purchase her first book right here. Isn't the title page just the cutest!! It is just so amazing when referrals arrive and those of us still waiting can share in the joy!!!!!

Thanks Sam!!!!

2007-07-15T09:24:00.001-07:00

Well, I know that everyone says this but the best part of this wait are the great people that you "meet" through groups and blogging. My Feb DTC pal Sam is one of those people. She has sent me so many little goodies along the way and yesterday, a package with dark chocolate, some pretty candles and a great cd, came my way. I can't tell you how it brightened an otherwise dreary day!!!!! Oh yes, if you do visit Sam today her first attempt at a poem, "Ode to a Pooper Scooper" is hysterical!!!! Thanks for the laugh!!
I guess I am feeling a little sad because our friends have returned to Ontario and we have returned to work after a fabulous holiday with them. It was great!! We went to all of the places that I mentioned in my last post as well as visiting Colleen, Bob and the kids on Saltspring Island for a day. There is NOTHING like a BBQ and swimming in an Island lake!! Thanks guys for having us!!
I am also feeling sad because the kids are gone. Rachael is six and Andrew is eight. They are wonderful kids and we had so much fun together. Rachael spent her last night here dressed in my purple wig and vampire costume along with the teeth. She is hilarious!! I had to give her the glow in the dark teeth to take home - she spent hours in the bathroom with them!!! I guess having the kids here, even when they were fighting and driving their parents crazy, really reminded me that we want a family too and it has just been such a long wait to have one. People who are adopting for the first time have usually been waiting alot longer than the published wait times and it is now eight years for us with only 16 months of this being in line for China. I was looking at the kids thinking that if we had been able to have our own, our children would have been just a little younger than Andrew and Rachael. Oh well. Yikes, late for work but thanks again Sam for brightening my day as you always do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello Again!!!

2007-07-15T09:24:00.000-07:00

I can't believe that I haven't posted for two weeks!! We have been so very busy with a house full of guests. I had this past week off from work and we travelled (with Camie of course) up island to Parksville and enjoyed every minute swimming in the ocean, playing on the beach, visiting
Cathedral Grove, hanging out on our ocean view hotel room balconies and visiting Gary at his campsite at Rathtrevor Beach. I don't have pictures yet but it was a great week and even Camie enjoyed the air conditioned suite as we have had some hot weather here on the West Coast.
Ah, this is the life. Both of my parents are/were teachers and I never understood that people actually went to work in the summer. My Dad coached all of our sports teams, we went sailing, to the cottage and visited friends and family all summer long. It was a great childhood but it was very difficult to get my mind around that fact that you have to work at your full time job in the summer!!! Even though intellectually I know that most people do, it just doesn't feel right to get up and go to work on hot summer days!!! This is actually, the first time I have had a week off in the summer for oh, 22 years so I have worked all summer long since I was a teenager but it is still strange!!! So, hope that everyone is enjoying their summer - especially you teachers who really deserve the time away!!!

16 months down...

2007-07-01T13:58:00.000-07:00

? to go... Just thought that I should mark it by a post. Hope all of the Canadians are having a great Canada Day!!! We are watching the Diana Special then off to the fun downtown. That Seamus O'Reagan from CTV is HILARIOUS!!!! What a guy and kind of cute too!!

Guess I am less of a Geek than I thought...

2007-06-30T15:04:00.000-07:00

28% Geek
Mingle² -

Yep, thought that I was more of a Geek because I like Sci-Fi, reading and computers but guess not!! I think that I am a geek because I did this quiz on a beautiful long weekend!!!! Actually, Veronica is here from the Mainland and we are resting after a lovely Thai lunch on the patio around the block, thrift store shopping and walking all over the city. Next stop the liquor store for some Vodka for 'tinis and then to the rooftop patio downtown for dinner and drinks. Yummy!!!!! See how great I feel tomorrow...yikes!!!!

Thank you to our March DTC Secret Pal

2007-06-22T17:14:00.000-07:00

I don't know how to thank you for filling Isabel's toy chest and our medicine cabinet with all of the goodies you sent this month. I can't believe how amazing the first aid kit is - booboo stickers, crayon band aides. Just sooo cute!!!! As I wrote in our DTC group, Camie and I have already played with the toy medical kit. It was really fun and I can't wait for Isabel to get her hands on all of the goodies. Shawn was really thrilled with the card that you sent and he agrees that he will call us "his girls" as I am so much like a little kid sometimes!!! Too cute!!!

Again, thank you for your generosity!! I also wanted to thank everyone for their wishes for our girl. She had a wonderful meal of BBQ chicken and had TONS of cuddles that night (not that she doesn't every night!!). When I am reading other people's blogs, it always amazes me how many people without children have pets. They truly are our "fur-babies". When Shawn wasn't sure about adopting, I asked him how he felt about his kitties because they were adopted (yes, I know some people are offended when the word 'adoption' is used in relation to animals) and they are a different species!!!! Love is boundless, timeless and an amazing gift that we give the people and animals in our lives!! Have a great weekend - I plan to do NOTHING at all!!

Happy Birthday to my Darling Girl...

2007-06-20T18:09:00.000-07:00

also known as Camie - gurl, Rooster (she gets Shawn up every morning at 5 am!!), Lovey girl, sweetie kitty and beautiful doll. She is 19 years old and still going strong. She has a few issues that we tackle with a raw food diet but she is a pretty healthy girl with a few creaks!! She was the tiniest little thing when I first brought her home, she lived in the closet with me at Shawn and Wayne's (don't ask!!!) and moved across our country in the front seat of a Uhaul truck, sitting on a pillow and telling Shawn ALL about his driving!!! Quite the life.

Tonight, Shawn made chicken on the BBQ and we caught her standing on the table, sniffing out the chicken!! What a girl!! She likes to be with us at all times and puts me to bed every night. Yep she does. She comes in, snuggles me and then leaves about 10:30 every night. If I am not in bed by 10:00, the calling starts. Last night we went down to the Ocean and when we came home, she was on her koshie. I told her I was going to bed and she came with me immediately!! Soooo sweet.

She is declawed but still has her back claws so it sounds like she is walking with high heels wherever she goes. I have to say that this suits her. She used to sit in chairs, with her paws hanging over the arms like the queen. Camie is really something!!

Every day when I come home from work, she is on the bed waiting to be picked up and snuggled. Shawn says that she makes her way to the bed from wherever she is in the house, just before I get home. The funny thing is that I have caught her on her way to the bedroom and she gets so mad!!! What a girl!!!! She also sleeps on a pillow above my head every night and gets very upset if I get up in the morning without a cuddle. Yikes!!!

For all of you who know and love our cat who thinks that she is a human (she actually talks on the phone to her Grandma Liz), send her food - that is all she wants. Oh yes, and tons of love and attention.

Happy Birthday Camie gurl - we love you soooooooo very much!!!!!!!

I can't believe I haven't done this yet...

2007-06-10T12:34:00.000-07:00

Maryellen and family, over at TBG Happenings, fellow Marching Pandas HAVE THEIR REFERRAL of their beautiful daughter Sophie!!!!!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS to all of you - we are just thrilled for your family Maryellen. If you haven't already, go have a peek at this gorgeous girl!! This news just made our weekend - it is wonderful to know that another precious baby girl has an amazing family coming to take her home!!!!

Favorite Comfort Food Tag

2007-06-08T21:48:00.000-07:00

Well, I have been tagged by Dolores so here goes:
1. Dark Chocolate - love it, love it, love it!!!! Ah, such comfort in Chocolate.
2. Gluten Free Pizza - Yummy and very nice after a long day!! This combines my love of Thai food...
3. My most recent favorite food is Vanilla yogurt with frozen blueberries and lots of fresh strawberries... must make some now!!
I have to add one more.... SUSHI!!!!!! LOVE my sushi. Always makes me feel better.
I have to say that I used to love egg salad sandwiches on white bread or mac and cheese but the gluten free options just aren't as good!!
If you are reading this and want to share...consider yourself tagged!!!

Your birthday means you are...

2007-06-07T07:21:00.000-07:00

Your Birthdate: February 11

Spiritual and thoughtful, you tend to take a step back from the world. You're very sensitive to what's going on around you, yet you remain calm.Although you are brilliant, it may take you a while to find your niche.Your creativity is supreme, but it sometimes makes it hard for you to get things done.
Your strength: Your inner peace
Your weakness: You get stuck in the clouds
Your power color: Emerald
Your power symbol: Leaf
Your power month: November

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

I found this on LayDfrog's blog and thought that it was cute!!! I do believe that I get stuck in the clouds and if my power month is November - here's hoping for a referral then!!!

Waiting...

2007-06-06T07:25:00.000-07:00

Last night we ordered pizza for dinner. There is only one place in town that does a gluten-free crust so that is where we have to order from (for me). It is called "The Joint" and the pizza's are amazing. Shawn always gets the organic whole wheat crust and they are really creative with their pizzas. I had the Thai peanut one last night - yummy!!
So, because it is a specialized pizza "joint", it takes a LONG time to be delivered (usually over an hour). It is located right downtown on Wharf St. and it is VERY difficult to pick up from. So, what does this have to do with waiting? Well, last night I called at 5:20 to order. At 7:00 Shawn asked if I should call and see where it was because we had been waiting so long. I said "Well hon, we are experts in waiting for things. We waited 8 years to get married, 6 years to get pregnant and we have been waiting over two years for our adoption. What is the problem with waiting over an hour and a half for a pizza?" We had a good laugh and then the doorbell rang...

My last post was...

2007-06-04T07:36:00.001-07:00

a little blue sounding!! I just reread it and I have to say that although we are sad that we don't have our daughter home with us, we have been using this time to prepare ourselves for her arrival. I REALLY want to be a SAHM and we might actually be able to achieve this because of the extended wait times. Last week was difficult because I would really like to make a change in jobs and the one offered last week was a peach. They already knew about the parental leave (it was an unsolicited job offer) so I had to fess up the rest of the info. I think that I was feeling sad about that. Anyway, just wanted to report that yes, although this wait is so uncertain and yes, there are times when we all feel down, in the end it is for the best. We will make more of our dreams come true!!!

Guess I had better acknowledge it...

2007-06-02T19:39:00.000-07:00

15 months yesterday, CCAA logged in our dossier. 15 months, wow! Thanks for the reminder Sam , I knew it was coming but forgot!! Feels like forever and then it feels like no time at all has passed. Before this month, I was always so hyper-aware that each month was passing, we celebrated and felt that we were one month closer to bringing home our daughter. Now that the wait is extending into infinity (who really knows how long it will get to be), we didn't celebrate, I wasn't hyper-aware and we are trying to forget that yet another summer is passing without a child in our home. Will it be another summer after this one? Who knows. I guess that I am just kind of tired of the monthly referral roller-coaster.
I had to turn down a job offer this week (an unsolicited one ) because of the uncertainty of the referral timeline which will end in a parental leave (we have over 30 weeks in Canada). I just couldn't give them a concrete answer other than "maybe next spring" and we agreed that it would not be beneficial for their clients. This situation is not good for relationship building which is essential in my career. I just don't feel as though I can make a job change even though I REALLY need to, when everything is so uncertain. The only certain thing is the uncertainty!!!
So, I will get excited about these LIDversary's when they actually mean that we are close to our referral. No-one said that adoption would be easy!!!

I don't want to work...

2007-05-28T16:47:00.000-07:00

I just want to bang on de drum all day!!!!! Check out the coolest drum kit ever!! Our March DTC Secret Pal has amazed us again. We LOVE music in our house and Isabel is going to be able to play her drum or her buggy xylophone or her bee shaker while I play the centipede tambourine as Shawn plays his guitar with us!!!!!! You have no idea how amazing this gift of music is. Just wonderful.
We also love the "Wee Sing" tapes and books. I can see those being very fun to listen to and play along with in the car as well as at home. If that wasn't enough, our pal included three books "Piglet and Mama" (it is the year of the pig you know!!), "Colours of the Mountain" and "Chinese Cinderella". I don't know how you manage to find books that we haven't read yet!!! Amazing. So thank you, thank you for this most wonderful gift of music and song. Oh, and no problem about giving Isabel a drum - Shawn's parents gave him a whole kit when he was a kid and he plans to do the same with Isabel.

As an aside, Shawn is really uncomfortable with any pictures of us on the blog but I have to put this one on because you can really only see my lovely arms and nose (if you look closely). Shawn snapped this one when I was sick so please excuse the tissue!!! This is how Camie and I go to sleep each night - snuggling together listening to a story on CD or to our classical music choice. I wonder how Isabel will fit into our huggle time here!!

For posterity...

2007-05-24T07:08:00.001-07:00

I am barley awake but had to record this dream... I was somewhere with my Mom, Shawn and Colleen. It was a hilly place with lots of tents, caravans etc. There were tons of families there waiting for their their children from China. All of a sudden, a helicopter (big enough to seat a number of people, white in colour) landed and people started milling around the helicopter. Some received news of LID's, some received other paperwork but most received their children from the one lady in the helicopter. It was a frenzy of activity and my Mom asked me what was happening. I could hear a radio far off and the male announcer said - they have matched and referred children to January something 2006. My Mom asked me again and I found that I was crying when I spoke. I told her that that means that we could possibly be next!! This batch, they matched an unprecedented 2 months and a bit. If they do this next time, we are in and our daughter will be here by summer!!!!!!!!! I remember that I wasn't shocked that the children were dropped off by a helicopter or anything in the scene - only sad that we didn't know any of these people. The dream continued on with Shawn, Colleen, her littlest kids and I in a big Winnebago, trying to find a parking spot so that we could go to the movies - crazy!!!
Ah, if only dreams could come true!!! Well, the part about the up to January referral. I would HATE to miss the trip to China!! Just wanted to record this - sorry if it is incoherent but I have to go get ready for work and I didn't want to forget it!!!! I do have a dream journal but the ones about China, I think should be here for Isabel.
Oh and if you do read the RQ, you will already know this but for those that don't, she has reported that TA's are coming to European families and that means that referrals may come sometime next week - MAY that is. Have a great Thursday!!!

Oh, the dreaded meme...

2007-05-21T10:42:00.001-07:00

I thought that perhaps, I had avoided this but Ms Dragonfly has tagged me!!! Just what I wanted to do today but I will oblige as she asked so sweetly and Camie is resting comfortably beside me!!
FOODOLOGY
1.What is your salad dressing of choice? My own concoction of wheat free soya sauce, Miran, rice vinegar, wheat free wooster (yea, I know that is not how you spell it!!), olive oil and a drop of sesame. Yummy.
2.What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? definitely Sushi or Italian food (so many choices!!)

TECHNOLOGY
1.What is your wallpaper on your computer? a photo of the Hurricane Mountains that we took last summer while hiking with friends.
2.How do you listen to music? On my stereo, on my cd player/alarm clock (both in my bedroom and in my office - love them!!), car radio and I am forced to listen to KISS on the television as I bought Shawn the KISSology DVD collection for his birthday in February - nope, he's not tired of it yet!!!
BIOLOGY
1.What’s your best feature? I think that my hair, my lips and my eyes are but Shawnie is a T & A man, so he may disagree!!
2.Have you ever had anything removed from your body? Hmnn, well wisdom teeth and I thought my heart for a while when this wait started to be extended - that was ripped, not removed :)
3.Which of your five senses do you think is keenest? Have to be smell as Shawn thinks that I am deaf in one ear as I Zone Out alot. I also like the 6th sense
BULLSHITOLOGY
1.If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? Tricky question. Yes, because I would want to do EVERYTHING and see EVERYONE before I died but No, because then I might get depressed if it is too soon and I won't see my daughter grow up!!!
2. Is love for real? Of course it is. Everyone loves someone or something in their lives. Love is part of being a human being - causing great joy and great sorrow at times. As the Beatles say "All you need is Love" and I truly believe this because once you have love in your life, anything is possible!!!
3.If you could change your first name, what would you change it to? I changed it to Isabel when I was little but I have grown into my name now.
4. Have you ever saved someone’s life? Yep, I work in the health care industry with seniors and there have been times. I have done the Heimlich a few times as well as assisted when people have fallen, had strokes etc.
5. Has someone ever saved yours? Not yet but I am hoping that someone would!!!
DAREOLOGY
1. Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000? For that kind of money, sure thing!!!
2.Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100? Now that was an easy $100.
3. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000? Depends how desperate for money I would be at the time!!
4. Would you never blog again for $50,000? You had better believe it!! Wouldn't stop reading and commenting though!!
5. Would you pose nude in a magazine for $250,000? Tough question. Depends who the audience was - would they see my face or just my tush!!!
6.Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1,000? Oh yea.
7. Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000? But of course!!
DUMBOLOGY
1. What is in your left pocket? I am in my LaSenza Chickie nightie, no pockets, sorry.
2. Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie? Hm. I didn't really get it but the talent scene was hilarious.
3. Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house? we have laminate "wood" - hey it is a condo and I am frugal, what can I say!!
4. Do you sit or stand in the shower? Stand. Love my huge Rain Shower head.
5. Could you live with roommates? Yep, did quite a bit in University - it was such a party!!!
6. How many pairs of flip-flops do you own? One pair with big flowers on the toes!!!
7. When was the last time you had a run-in with the cops? A Ride program last year!! They always think that Shawn is an actor as we have so much of filming going on here. Too funny!!!
8. What do you want to be when you grow up? Why would I want to grow up????
9. Last friend you talked to? Shawn
10. Last person you called? Colleen
RANDOMOLOGY
1. First place you went this morning? Umn, to the Loo, then back to bed to read and cuddle with the kitty.
2. What can you not wait to do? GO TO CHINA AND MEET ISABEL!!!!!!!!!!
3. What’s the last movie you saw? Homefries on DIVA. Love Drew Barrymore!!! Friends have said that Shawn and I resemble Drew and Adam in "The Wedding Singer" but I think that Shawn is much cuter than Adam!!!

Ok, so there you have it. More silly info about me and mine. Hope that all the Canadians had a great May "Two-Four"!! Well, at least for those of you in Ontario. Out here in BC it is "Victoria Day" without the fireworks :(, only parades. Ah the memories of campsites, cold mornings, wet tents, soggy cases of beer (or boxes of wine in my case) and friends. What a life.
This weekend, Shawn and I went shopping for fabric for Isabel, a new shower door and our secret pal. I then prepared all the the squares for Isabel's quilt that I have received, baked Gluten-Free chocolate chip cookies, prepared squares for another quilt I am making and cut out dress patterns to make Isabel dresses. What a difference!!! I guess when you hit 35, your party days are over - here comes domesticity!!!! But, I still love my wine - but not from a box these days!!

PS: If anyone wants to trade squares, email me and I would love to trade. I want to make Isabel a smaller quilt too, so I am still looking for squares. For those FAMILY MEMBERS who haven't sent them yet and you know who you are - I NEED your squares in the next few weeks as I want to get started piecing it together!!!

Check it out...

2007-05-17T16:31:00.000-07:00

In the comments from my last post, Greg Lang left a comment!!! He is the author of "Why I Chose You". How cool is that!! Thanks Greg and I am really enjoying the book. Actually the other night I said to Camie, "I chose you because" and then opened the book. The words were perfect!! I then said the same thing to Shawn and opened the book. Again, perfect words. Finally I said it to Isabel and we read the words together. They were PERFECT. It is such a lovely book and I have to thank my secret pal for a great gift that we are really enjoying.