Tuesday, August 15, 2006


I was reading lots of blogs today (home sick and what a great way to spend some time, not that I don't read blogs everyday anyway!!!). There are so many topics and so many different opinions out there. It is really amazing. As I am relatively new to this whole blogging world, I am finding new blogs everyday!!

There is one thing that I hadn't experienced in the three months that I have been reading blogs and yahoo groups. That is a really angry and negative blog. Yesterday, I had the unpleasant experience of reading one. The blogger was so angry and she was really derogatory in her comments about adoptive parents. It was difficult to read but I am glad that I did. It just states yet another perspective about adoption.

I have known all my life, people who have been either domestically or internationally adopted. As one of my brother's best friends growing up was adopted from Vietnam, I grew up knowing what international adoption was about and how it affected him and his family- for the better I think. Having many friends who were adopted, I never knew that there was such anger directed at adoptive parents. In fact, one of my closest friend's in high school was part of a family with three black adopted children, a chinese mother and white father. I never thought it was strange, not until we went to Michigan on a soccer tournament when we were 14 and experienced extreme racism. My Dad pulled us out of the homes where we were billeted and we had a great time at the hotel but I have never forgotten it. A rude awakening for a couple of Canadian kids who had never experienced such outright racism.

So, I empathize with the writer of that blog and others whose childhoods were full of racism and pain. I can only hope that through the experiences my husband and I have had, we can assist our daughter with these issues. As I have stated before, there is a large Asian community here in Victoria, from immigrants (like my husband) to international students to 3rd and 4th generation Canadians (just like me!!!). She will not be the only Asian person within 100 miles and both her parents have first hand knowledge of abandonment and immigrating from another country. I think that perhaps, people who slam all adoptive parents should also have a look at who we are and what we bring to the table for our children.


Connie said...

Well said! Sometimes I delude myself with the pollyanna approach but I know the time will come when I, and my daughter, experience racism. It has not happened yet in any form but I am trying to prepare myself for when it does. I have a hard time getting over the simple fact that racism JUST MAKES NO SENSE!

Johnny said...

The one thing is that one angry IA child does not represent ALL IA children.

You're right, it's good to see the other view.

But, we have domestic adopted kids mad at their domestic adopting parents.

And, we have bio kids mad at their bio parents.

Janet said...

Agreed! I realize that there will be issues, but what is worse for that little girl? Living her life in an orphanage without parents who love her? I don't get it! We've had similar comments, just disregard their ignorance and focus on the love you will give to your new daughter. Sending big smiles your way! (from Alberta!)
Janet T.

Kristine and Shawn said...

Thanks guys. This was one blog but I have also read a number of Korean IA children's stories. I think that culture changes as do beliefs and tolerence. Attachment parenting, open adoption and celebrating a child's ancestry are relativly new concepts. So, the upbringing of an IA child 30 years ago is good to hear about but we have learned so much!!!

Kay/Hanazono said...

Good for your dad for taking matters into his own hands like that. I really admire him for that :)

Yes, that whole conflama was really hard, wasn't it? It was an eye opener to me, too. I hope you are right that the next generations of adoptees will be able to live lives with less anger. But those other words still echo in my head.