Wednesday, September 20, 2006

The great wait...

I was just over reading Johnny's blog. Have a look if you like. He asked a group of blogger Mama's who already have children, their opinions on the wait. It made me think and I wanted to post my thoughts too...
So here goes. We don't have any children but have wanted them for years. We ventured into the fertility treatment zone but then backed out quickly when we found out what it entailed. We have always agreed that having a biological child really didn't matter to us, we just wanted a family with children. I think that I have posted before that adoption was always part of my plan (since I was a small child), Shawn felt that this was a good plan too and we went forward with the adoption process. First, we went through the Domestic program (a social worker suggested it because of our ages and excitement about open adoption) and found that it was a "popularity" contest. We don't own a ranch with horses, dogs etc. We live downtown, more of an urban lifestyle where money doesn't really mean that much to us - not as popular as the suburban lifestyle for birthmom's. So, after only 2 months of this, we switched back to our first choice - China.
Now, not having children and waiting is difficult but I don't know how much more difficult it really is. As one blogger stated, she knows what she is missing because she has her children - we don't, we can only assume (and you know what that means!!). The longer wait time has allowed us to save more money, complete needed renovations and prepare ourselves for parenthood (ha ha ha!!!). That said, we would HATE it if the wait went to 24 months as we are getting older every year. We accept the 12-14 month wait theory and that feels ok. I am not saying that I don't count the days and when the 1st of each month comes(our LID anniversary), I celebrate because another month of waiting is over and we are that much closer to our daughter. So, I guess what I am trying to say is that I think that this wait is difficult for EVERYONE involved and those of us who are used to having control over our own lives and destinies, find it very difficult to live this way. I can only say that I am looking so forward to having our daughter in our family and I can't imagine anyone who has gone through this long process feeling any different, whether they have bio children or not.

3 comments:

Johnny said...

Good post.

Connie said...

Well said! Thanks :0)

Janet said...

I agree, Kristine! I think the wait is hard for both, although I have heard from those that don't have kids that it is harder for them. That may be true, but I appreciate that you can understand that even for those of us who have kids, the wait is difficult. Thanks for keeping an open mind about that! I also agree that there is no point stressing all the time about it. It's just what we have to do! I think some days it is easier to be patient than others, though....:-)
Have a great weekend, girl!

Janet T.