Well, I finished my book!!

I highly recommend the book "A Love Like No Other" that I spoke about in my last post. It was great and very informative. I have now cracked "The Post Adoption Blues" by Karen J. Foli and John R. Thompson. I am usually a very upbeat and positive person but I think that since we have so long to wait, it is a great idea to read everything out there. At the same time, I am reading the story "Forgotten Leaves: the story of an unwanted Chinese daughter" by Adeline Yen Mah.
Has anyone read the attachment book by Deborah Gray? Our waiting families group next month will focus on attachment in adoption so I thought that I might try and read this before that. From what I have heard, it is a bit of a dry read but very informative. Oh yea, I am also reading "Good Luck Life" by Rosemary Gong. It is a super resource for Chinese celebrations and cultural ideas. I have just read the chapter on Chinese New Year and even though we have celebrated it for many years - we have a meal, buy the stamps from Canada Post for that year and generally enjoy the celebrations in Chinatown - I had never heard of the celebration around the Kitchen God. I first read about the Kitchen God in Amy Tan's novels and closer to home, books by Vancouver author Wayson Choy but I didn't know that you burn the paper effigy of the Kitchen God each year so that he can report how worthy your family is, every New Year's eve. Neat. We will be adding this book to our collection some day (as this one is a library book). I also love the author Anchee Min. I have read all of her books now - my secret pal gave me my favorite one "Empress Orchid" which again, I highly recommend.
So, that is what I am reading right now - I LOVE my library, they have so many books and DVD's to borrow. What are you all reading? Anything good? Let me know.

A few tears...

I am reading the book "A Love Like No Other". At first, it sounded like a Harlequin Romance when it was suggested to me but I soon found out that it was stories written by parents who have adopted. It is edited by Pamela Kruger and Jill Smolowe. What a book!!
I have only read a few of the stories so far (picked it up from the library yesterday) and I am trying to read it slowly but am finding it hard to do!!! The stories that I have read really focus on birth parents and they are so powerful. After reading the third story, I suddenly burst into tears!!!!!
I have to qualify this by saying that when we started this process, we learned about the grief cycle. At the time, I understood that our daughter would feel grief at the loss of her birth parents but I didn't understand that I would too!! I know that we don't know our daughter yet but we do know that she will be an abandoned child and that the circumstances that lead to this will be heartbreaking. I am starting to feel a little of that heartbreak and I know that I will be like the mother who wrote that she looked everywhere when she was in Vietnam, thinking that every woman she saw "could be" her child's birth mother. That section of the story just resonated with me.
The other thought that came to me was a section of the "Lost Girls" documentary where the mother had put together a sign with pictures of her daughter now, then and stories in Chinese about how safe and happy she is. The mother then posted it in an area where her daughter's birth mother might see it. I don't know how kosher it is to do this, but the thought made me cry even harder !!! Ugh. I guess that is just another facet of parenting through adoption. Off to read more and to try not to cry...

As an aside, I found a gorgeous duvet cover that matches the crib set that I bought on ebay. The crib set came with a really pretty handsewn quilt but I also bought a crib size duvet for those colder nights (on ebay for a real deal!!!) so this cover will be perfect!!! It was so inexpensive that I bought two and then tried to think of other people who might need one!!!!!!!

Thank you to our March DTC Secret Pal!!!

Oh my, what can I say. This is so GORGEOUS!! I ADORE the shoes, coat, hat and socks for Isabel. I LOVE my dragon socks, the gloves, turtle lined hat, makeup bag, candles (cinnamon of course!!) and Chai Tea. It has been so unseasonably cold here that these will all be perfect!! Speaking of cold, I have been wearing the scarf that you made me with my pink little parka coat and have had so many complements!! I love telling people that my Marching Panda Secret Pal made it for me. It is so very special. Thank you again for your thoughtfulness. I can't forget the Asian Fusion shopping list and magnet set. Too cute!!! Thank you SOOOO much. I feel so spoiled, as usual. Can I say again, I ADORE the shoes. They are just TOOO sweet. You made a sick girl's day!!!!!

Thanks for the advice!!!

Thanks everyone. I actually went to the doctor yesterday and I have a mild form of pneumonia so I am home, off of work for the next week. I am watching the view and Barbara Walters just said "I love the child I gave birth to as much as I would if she was adopted!!!" I know that people will rip this to shreds over on APC but really, it was a great comment. It has been our first choice to adopt. Yes, we wanted to try to have birth children and did do some fertility tests and procedures (very limited) when we found we weren't getting pregnant easily but adoption was always our first choice. In university, I took Environmental Philosophy and Environmental Geology at the same time. Quite the mix!!!! I decided at that time to never have any birth children because of the state of our world and Shawn agreed. He was amazed when I mentioned that we might want to "try" and have a birth child. So here we are, part of this great community, waiting for our child, our first choice. I want to state this in writing, so that Isabel will always know that her Mum and Dad wanted her more than anything else in the world, that she was NEVER an afterthought or a second choice.

I'm sick!!

I am being a big sick baby here but I have this cough that I can't get rid of. Keeps us up at night (Shawn and Camie can't sleep while I hack up a lung!!) and nothing seems to be working. It started after I was really really sick with a virus after Christmas; I even took 4 days off work which I have NEVER done before!!! So, the reason I am writing this, is to ask if anyone has any suggestions about how to get rid of this cough!! My Grandpa's cure of vicks on the throat/chest with a sock around my neck, while taking a lozenge hasn't even worked this time and it's driving me crazy!! Any thoughts?

I've been tagged...

Maryellen over at TBG Happenings has tagged me!!! THANKS!!!! Here goes...
A - Available or Taken: Taken forever (well, since I was 19)
B - Best Friend: Shawnie Bear!!
C - Cake or Pie: Colleen's pie and Shawn's flour free Chocolate "to die for" cake
D - Drink of Choice: Tea and then there is red wine or vodka
E - Essential Item You Use Everyday: My Laptop!!
F - Favorite Color: Yellow - Sarah Richardson says that it is "hip" for decorating again!!
G - Gummy Bears or Worms: Gummy Bears- you have to eat the limbs first, then the head, then the body!!!!
H - Hometown: London Ontario
I - Indulgence: Dark Chocolate, YUMMY!!!
J - January or February: February because it is my birthday month, Shawn's birthday month, my grandma and my auntie's birthday month, Erik and Rachel's too!!! Oh yes, Valentine's Day and the cherry trees start to blossom!!!
K - Kids and Names: one cat, Camie and of course, ISABEL!!!!
L - Life Incomplete Without: Shawn, my family and friends.
M - Marriage Date: January 30th, 1999.
N - Number of Siblings: one Sister,one brother and two step-brothers
O - Oranges or Apples: Apples- I eat one everyday!!!!
P - Phobias or Fears: Drowning, scary movies and sometimes, the dark!!!! Yep, I am a real scardy cat!!!
Q - Favorite Quote: "Oh my Giddy Aunt!!!!!!" from one of the gal's at work. Can't think of anything profound right now - going to bed soon...
R - Reason to Smile: Cutie Camie cat and Shawnie Bear!!!!!
S - Season: Spring into summer
T - Tag People: NOOOOOOO
U - Unknown Fact About Me: I tried out for cheerleading in high school, didn't make it so my girlfriend and I became statisticians for the football team - much better gig, let me tell you!!!!!!!!!
V - Veggie You Don't Like: Love them all!!!!
W - Worst Habit: Hitting the snooze button!!!
X - X-rays: for my ankle, jaw and knee (lots of soccer injuries growing up!!!)
Y - Your Favorite Food: noodles of any kind- being a Celiac, I can only have rice noodles but Thai, Vietnamese and some Chinese food have FANTASTIC noodle dishes. Oh yea and SUSHI!!!!!!!!!
Z - Zodiac: Aquarius (remember the HAIR song? My Dad sang that to me in the morning to wake me up as a kid and yes, I still love it!!!)

If you read all of that, I applaud you and you know more about me than you probably wanted to!!!!!

CNN- Racism alive and well...

Last night Paula Zahn's program was advertised as a discussion of the new regulations for China Adoptions. Instead, it became a discussion about racism and the guest "panel" actually accused adoptive parents of choosing international Chinese children instead of domestic adoption because of the cute "China Doll's" etc. etc. You can read it all here Transcript. The section that I am speaking about is at the end of the show. If you feel that you would like to, leave a comment in the feedback section. The Rumour Queen (see the left side in the link section to go there) has lots of links to different people to write to about this. I have to say that Shawn and I are just amazed that people still have these types of agendas in the world and it is hard to believe that racism like this is still alive and presented as journalism. It is difficult to write when I am this furious but thanks for letting me say my piece.

Holidays are over

and I am sick, so is Shawn. Yuck. I just wanted to post a thank you to Veronica the Great for making our holiday season so fun!!! She came all the way from Ontario and joined us in our Christmas Vacation, Uncle Eddy Trailer (it wasn't that bad, really!!!)adventure over to Saltspring for Christmas. I think that the Martini's in the RV were the best ever on Christmas night!!! I don't know if we will rent one again but it was sure fun!!! Camie, the trailer trash kitty, reading her trashy mag's that Auntie V brought with her!! Veronica left yesterday and I hope that all goes well in school. She is a brave woman who opted to change her career path from Architectural Engineer to teacher. Going back to school with kids who are 15 years younger is tough but she is an incredible person and we know that she will be super at whatever she does. Thanks for the fun and laughter V!!! We miss you already... A gorgeous photo that Veronica took of St. Mary's lake on Saltspring on Christmas day.

10 months and counting!!!

Yep, today we have been logged in for 10 whole months. It was this time two years ago, that we decided to adopt and started the process. Seems like ages ago but also just like it was yesterday. Now we are concerned and communicating with our agency about the new regulations and how the "retroactive" sections may affect our dossier- we are borderline on a few issues. Our facilitators are in China right now so we hope to hear from them soon!!! It will be heartbreaking if we have to change focus from China, were our heart is. Enough, we have made it through the paperchase twice (once for domestic and then for the switch to China) and through these past ten months!! Happy New Year to all!!