A few tears...

I am reading the book "A Love Like No Other". At first, it sounded like a Harlequin Romance when it was suggested to me but I soon found out that it was stories written by parents who have adopted. It is edited by Pamela Kruger and Jill Smolowe. What a book!!
I have only read a few of the stories so far (picked it up from the library yesterday) and I am trying to read it slowly but am finding it hard to do!!! The stories that I have read really focus on birth parents and they are so powerful. After reading the third story, I suddenly burst into tears!!!!!
I have to qualify this by saying that when we started this process, we learned about the grief cycle. At the time, I understood that our daughter would feel grief at the loss of her birth parents but I didn't understand that I would too!! I know that we don't know our daughter yet but we do know that she will be an abandoned child and that the circumstances that lead to this will be heartbreaking. I am starting to feel a little of that heartbreak and I know that I will be like the mother who wrote that she looked everywhere when she was in Vietnam, thinking that every woman she saw "could be" her child's birth mother. That section of the story just resonated with me.
The other thought that came to me was a section of the "Lost Girls" documentary where the mother had put together a sign with pictures of her daughter now, then and stories in Chinese about how safe and happy she is. The mother then posted it in an area where her daughter's birth mother might see it. I don't know how kosher it is to do this, but the thought made me cry even harder !!! Ugh. I guess that is just another facet of parenting through adoption. Off to read more and to try not to cry...

As an aside, I found a gorgeous duvet cover that matches the crib set that I bought on ebay. The crib set came with a really pretty handsewn quilt but I also bought a crib size duvet for those colder nights (on ebay for a real deal!!!) so this cover will be perfect!!! It was so inexpensive that I bought two and then tried to think of other people who might need one!!!!!!!