Shawn and I were sitting on top of Mount Tolmie last night, watching the sun set and the moon rise. It was a perfect night. Gorgeous colours and views. The wind was rushing through the tall grasses just over the guardrail and other than the occasional car, it was this incredible sound of whispering grass. Needless to say, we were mesmerized.
So, last night on this perfect evening, we started to talk about "Gotcha Day" with Isabel in China. This is the day when your name is called and you are handed your beautiful daughter. We watched "Lost Girls" a few weeks ago. It is a National Geographic program that follows a family and their trip to pick up their second daughter in China. I, of course, was crying non-stop through all of the scenes where the families were given their children. You could feel the emotions and energy buzzing in that small room in China.
I know that when I was a little girl, seeing adults cry, even for joy, was frightening. I said to Shawn that I don't want our daughter's first vision of me as a crying, scary lady. I would rather her see us laugh with joy. His response was that we have lots of time to prepare ourselves for that day. Then again you can never tell what you will actually do. At our wedding ceremony, I giggled through the whole thing, when I though that I would be in tears. Shawn, on the other hand, had everyone crying their eyes out. So, we shall see.
I know that the day we first hold Isabel, we will be full of every kind of emotion there is. It will be a relief when we finally touch her and hopefully laughter full of joy may come from that. We just want to connect with our daughter for the first with smiles not tears. We shall have to wait and see.